Since the 1970s, Jim Henson’s Muppets have achieved the near impossible—consistently providing four-quadrant entertainment the whole family can truly enjoy. Now we need them more than ever to accomplish an even more impossible task—saving American democracy.
Joe Biden’s debate performance was so bad Democrats wished he were on strings with someone else’s hand up his ass making him talk, or at the very least seem awake. It’s starting to seem that if we have any chance of stopping Trump and the fascist tide of Project 2025, the Democrats need a new candidate, and given the DNC’s fondness for puppets, a Muppet seems like the most likely prospect. They have brand recognition, people trust them, and unlike our current President, they can talk.
Any Muppet would be an improvement over either current candidate, but which anthropomorphic foam animal is best suited for the job? We’ve crunched the numbers and ranked them all by their viability as candidates, from better than Trump or Biden to much better than Trump or Biden.
