For the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade, We Ranked Our Top 5 Favorite Abortions

January 22nd marks the 49th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that…

At Least My Uncle Died Doing What He Loved: Listening to Joe Rogan’s Vaccine Advice

Covid has killed over 700 thousand Americans since the beginning of 2020. Unfortunately, my beloved uncle…

Tucker Carlson Cites “Nazi Punks F*ck Off” as Early Example of Cancel Culture

Fox News host Tucker Carlson used the 1981 Dead Kennedys song “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” as…

7 Patriotic Signs and Symptoms You Have the Freedom Flu

So you’re feeling a bit under the weather after a recent motorcycle rally. Should you take…

Punk Jehovah’s Witness Wants To Know If You Have A Minute To Talk Shit About Jesus

Local punk and Jehovah’s Witness Mike “Pitstain” Dawson took it upon himself to counterbalance the Jehovah’s…

Opinion: Forcing Me To Wear a Mask To Receive Candy Is Communism

There is a specter haunting Halloween — the specter of communism. My name is Toby Masterson.…

Trump to Honor the Brave Men and Women Who Fought During the Upcoming Holyfield/Belfort 9/11 Fight

Former president and disgraced for-profit university owner Donald Trump revealed that he will commemorate the brave…

Supreme Court Allows Texas to Devolve into Mad Max Hellscape

The Supreme Court of the United States recently decided, after allowing a law banning all abortions…

Liberals Relieved to See Biden Dehumanizing Refugees with a Little Class

Centrist Democrats across the country expressed relief at seeing President Joe Biden dehumanize refugees with more…

Congressional Leaders Promise Evictions Won’t Stop Constituents from Receiving Fundraising Mailers

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gathered with Democratic leadership this morning to issue a statement promising that…