“He promised accountability,” says lawyer holding 3,000-page indictment.
Following newly established legal precedent, the Pentagon announced today it is recalling Secretary of Defense (and also War) Pete Hegseth to active duty to face charges of violating nearly the entire Uniform Code of Military Justice.
“Secretary Hegseth has made accountability his watchword,” said General Counsel Earl Matthews. “And as he frequently reminds us in staff meetings, he is not above the law. So, based on overwhelming evidence that he has flouted the UCMJ in virtually every waking moment since he hit puberty, we are reinstating his prior rank of tabless bitch Major so he can be appropriately court-martialed.”
