The White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump’s rumoured surprise, unannounced visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center was not, as “fake news losers” speculated, for medical reasons, but to collect what aides are calling “the most prestigious cognitive honour in human history.”
Speaking to reporters while smiling with the intensity of someone being paid to do so, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt explained that Trump had been invited to the hospital to receive the annual Dementia Test of the Year award, after “absolutely dominating” his routine cognitive screening this year.
