Long-standing critic of “endless foreign wars,” Donald Trump, has reportedly launched a spirited barrage of goodwill explosives at Caracas, formally opening what aides describe as his “very chill, extremely non-interventionist” campaign for the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize.
Trump, who regularly reminds Americans that he has no interest in getting involved outside the US, addressed concerns about hypocrisy by clarifying that attacking Venezuela was not interventionist but rather “a limited, beautiful act of peace enforcement using very large missiles.”
According to Trump, the strikes were purely defensive, in the sense that America was defending itself from the continued existence of Venezuela.
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Supporters hailed the strikes as proof of Trump’s restraint, praising him for avoiding foreign entanglements everywhere else on Earth.
As smoke drifted over Caracas, Trump reportedly turned his attention to Oslo, confident the Nobel committee would soon recognise his unique talent for staying out of conflicts, unless they’re extremely tempting.-
