A huge new ballroom has mysteriously appeared in Greenland overnight, according to officials of the Danish territory.
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“It’s pretty ugly to look at. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so garish and tacky. Whoever thought covering the walls completely in gold was a good idea in this climate needs to give their head a wobble. It nearly blinded me when I first walked over there.
“We’re not exactly sure who’s responsible for this embarrassment to humanity, but there is an America flag planted on the top, so take that however you want. Also, the trail of orange foundation leading into the ballroom might give us some clue as to who the culprit is.
“Obviously this is a new tactic to try and take control of our island. Build something so horrible and unbearable to look at that everyone just packs their bags and leaves. To be honest, I think I’d rather they just kidnap our leader.
“I genuinely feel sick every time I walk past it. That’s how bad it looks. It’s like King Midas had a bad case of diarrhoea and couldn’t hold it in. I have to give it to him, this plan might actually work.
“Well played, Donald. Well played.”
