In a speech given to other world leaders in Davos, the President stated that “Greeland’s boring. It smells funny and has stupid people on it who go ‘wah-wah-wah’ and look stupid. Don’t want Greenland no more.”
***
“I want a nice red toy car,” said the President, “and it should be really shiny and nice. Nicer than any toy cars that Obama had. Get me a shiny red toy car. Now. Want one.”
His speech then began to degenerate into screaming and crying about red cars. He kicked over the podium and pushed away people who rushed onto the stage to help as his distress about getting a shiny red car grew ever greater. The episode culminated in the President loudly soiling himself.
European leaders have reportedly popped down to the local Davos branch of Toys R Us and got the nicest, shiniest, red toy car in stock which will, they hope, see Trump return home believing that the World Economic Forum was a success.
