A Giant Snowflake has confirmed plans to sue a comedian after heroically standing up for free speech by attempting to crush it with a team of lawyers.
The snowflake, who has spent the last decade explaining that people are “too easily offended these days”, became deeply offended after hearing a joke he personally did not enjoy.
Sources say the incident left him shaken, angry, and briefly unsure whether the First Amendment still applies to people who aren’t him.
“This is a disgusting attack on free speech,” the snowflake raged, moments before threatening legal action to ensure the joke never happens again.
“In America, comedians should be allowed to say whatever they want, but only if I approve it in advance.”
Friends of the snowflake say he was particularly upset because the joke was delivered in public, where people could hear it, laugh at it, and potentially form opinions without his permission.
