Attendees at the Republican National Convention gave a thunderous ovation to the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
Satan Declines to Buy J.D. Vance’s Soul
Sen. J.D. Vance attempted to sell his soul to the Devil “multiple times” but Satan declined…
Trump Requires Running Mate to Also be Cellmate
A campaign aide confirmed on Thursday that every candidate who wants to be Donald J. Trump’s…
Trump Screens VP Candidates for any Worrisome Signs of Self-esteem
Now in the final stages of choosing a running mate, Donald J. Trump is screening potential…
Americans Ask Supreme Court for Immunity From Trump
In a lawsuit filed on Monday, millions of Americans asked the U.S. Supreme Court to grant…
Louisiana Orders Classrooms To Display All Ten Commandments That Trump Has Broken
The Republican governor of Louisiana signed a new law on Wednesday requiring every classroom in the…
Marjorie Taylor Greene Warns That Windmills Will Drive up Cost of Wind
Speaking at a campaign rally on Thursday, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene warned that plans to build…
Tommy Tuberville Opposes Contraception and All Other Polysyllabic Words
Explaining his vote against birth control last week, Senator Tommy Tuberville said on Tuesday that he…
Marjorie Taylor Greene Despondent After Learning Jesus Was Jewish
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been inconsolable since she discovered on Wednesday that Jesus Christ was…
Betsy DeVos Calls For All Colleges and Universities to Be Closed Forever
Weighing in on the unrest roiling the nation’s campuses, on Monday Betsy DeVos called for all…
Poll: Majority of Americans Prefer Sleeping Trump to Conscious Version
In a development that an aide to the presumptive GOP nominee called “the best news this…
Desperate Trump tries to fix plunging stock price with Sharpie
An ugly scene unfolded at Mar-a-Lago on Monday as an increasingly apoplectic Donald J. Trump watched…