In a development that an aide to the presumptive GOP nominee called “the best news this…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
Desperate Trump tries to fix plunging stock price with Sharpie
An ugly scene unfolded at Mar-a-Lago on Monday as an increasingly apoplectic Donald J. Trump watched…
All Copies of Trump’s Bible Recalled After It Was Found to Contain Nuclear Codes
Donald J. Trump’s ambition to become the nation’s leading Bible salesman hit a snag when the…
George Santos to Spend More Time with Imaginary Family
In an announcement that many in Washington felt was overdue, Representative George Santos said that he…
Johnson Promises to Be Greatest Speaker of the Seventeenth Century
In a stirring acceptance speech after being elected Speaker of the House, Rep. Mike Johnson vowed…
QAnon Fears R.F.K., Jr., Will Take Votes Away from J.F.K., Jr.
Members of the group known as QAnon are warning that the Independent candidacy of Robert F.…
House Republicans Hold Emergency Meeting to See Who Has to Sit Next to Matt Gaetz
House Republicans have convened an emergency meeting to determine who must sit next to Representative Matt…
Every House Republican to Be Speaker for Four Minutes
In an agreement that members of the G.O.P. conference are calling a game changer, every House…
Matt Gaetz Accuses Kevin McCarthy of Behaving Like an Adult
In a sign of the worsening feud among congressional Republicans, Representative Matt Gaetz lashed out at…
Furious Rupert Murdoch Returns to Fox After Network Accidentally Broadcasts Fact
An irate Rupert Murdoch has returned to the helm of Fox News after the network accidentally…
Zelensky Offers to Broker Peace Deal Between Kevin McCarthy and House Republicans
Calling the conflict raging in the U.S. Capitol “a clear and present danger to the world,”…
Republicans Demand Biden Tell Them Why They Are Impeaching Him
In an irate letter to the White House, Kevin McCarthy and other congressional Republicans have demanded…