He threw himself a $45 million birthday party and nobody came. The “crowd” that did show…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
Mexico Renames the Liberty Bell the TACO Bell
In a move likely to stir controversy, Mexico has officially renamed the Liberty Bell “the TACO…
Trump Establishes New Cabinet Department to Process Huge Volume of Bribes
o process the avalanche of bribes offered him on a daily basis, on Friday the President…
JD Vance to Represent Satan at Pope’s Funeral
JD Vance will represent Satan at Pope Francis’s funeral this weekend, the Devil confirmed on Thursday.…
Man Who Invested in Trump Shocked to be Losing Fortune
A South African man who invested millions in Donald J. Trump is in a “state of…
Bondi Fires DOJ Employee After Finding Copy of Constitution on his Desk
Calling it a “serious breach of the Department of Justice’s code of conduct,” on Wednesday Attorney…
Greenland Appoints Special Envoy to Greet Trump Delegation
The government of Greenland has named a special ambassador to greet members of the Trump administration…
DOGE Staffer Attempting to Fire Park Ranger is Mauled by Angry Bear
A staffer from Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was unable to fire a park…
Palestinians Propose Taking Ownership of Mar-a-Lago
A spokesman for the Palestinian people said on Wednesday that, though they had no intention of…
In Flurry of Executive Orders Trump Accidentally Deports Himself to Panama
Amid the chaos of his first days in office, on Thursday Donald J. Trump accidentally signed…
Worm Warns Senate He Has Eaten 90 Percent of RFK Jr.’s Brain
In what some are calling the most alarming testimony ever heard in the United States Senate,…