Insisting he still believed in the dream that Americans from all circumstances could eventually become sexual…
Tag: The Onion
Kristi Noem Calls On Minneapolis Residents To Stop Obstructing Murders
Urging locals to “fully cooperate” with federal agents, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem called…
ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of Justice
Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal…
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform
Adopting a new set of national policy positions ahead of this year’s midterms, top GOP leaders…
DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars
Circulating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the “worst of the worst,” the Department…
Trump Claims He Will Marry Maduro’s Wife Until Suitable Replacement Found
Stressing that he was prepared to remain in the role for as long as necessary, President Donald…
Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head
Amid ongoing concerns over the aging president’s medical status, health speculations reportedly swirled Monday after President…
Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’
Taking the vice president aside to discuss the administration’s response to the upcoming House of Representatives…
Rudy Giuliani Awarded Presidential Medal Of Incest
Lauded as a generational advocate for sexual contact between relatives, former New York City mayor and…