Expressing their dismay with yet another product overtaken by the liberal conspiracy to destroy traditional lifestyles,…
Tag: The Onion
Dalai Lama Admits He Felt Left Out Being Only Leader Of Major Religion Not To Molest Someone
After a controversial video surfaced showing His Holiness asking a child to “suck his tongue,” the…
Politicians Explain Why They Oppose Gender-Affirming Care
At least 13 states have passed laws banning gender-affirming care for trans youth, including life-saving treatments…
Kansas GOP Bill Authorizes Genital Exams Of Schoolchildren
The Kansas state legislature has overridden a veto by the state’s Democratic governor to pass a…
Trump Revealed To Have Paid Hush Money To Conceal Children He Had In Wedlock
Claiming hundreds of thousands of dollars were secretly paid to keep the information out of the…
Trump Boys Ask Melania If They’re Getting New Daddy Now
Sheepishly approaching their stepmom after hearing about their father’s indictment, the Trump boys reportedly asked Melania…
Conservatives Explain What They Will Do If Trump Is Convict
“Get killed in the next Capitol riot.” ~ Eleanor Tibbits (Diving Instructor) “I likely won’t hear…
Conservatives Defend Their Anti-Trans Bigotry
Following the recent increase in hateful rhetoric towards transgender people, The Onion asked conservatives to defend their anti-trans…
Most Controversial Statements By CPAC Speakers
The Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this week. The Onion examines the most controversial statements made by…
Evangelical Leaders Announce J.K. Rowling Finally Bigoted Enough That It’s Okay For Kids To Read About Witchcraft
Following a series of transphobic comments by the Harry Potter author, the nation’s top evangelical leaders announced Monday…
Florida Board Of Education Removes Africa From World Maps
Saying the continent’s existence raised numerous questions of bias and accountability in the classroom, the Florida…