Biden Commits To Picking A Diversity Hire For SCOTUS Since That Worked So Well With His VP

WASHINGTON, D.C—Justice Stephen Breyer has announced he is retiring from the Supreme Court, sparking intense speculation for who Biden will be nominating to replace him. In response, the President has pledged to nominate a woman of color for SCOTUS, since diversity hires have always strengthened his Presidency.

“I gotta go with what works, folks. And just like choosing my VP, I will select someone for SCOTUS based solely on her race and her gender,” said President Biden. “I did that last time and look how well it’s worked out for me. Everyone loves and approves of Kamala! She’s got a great laugh, comes across as extremely relatable, and just look at how she handled the border crisis so well!”

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