Pretending to be flight attendant closest Poilievre has been to having a real job

 CITY – Career politician , excited a handful of members of a captive audience with an impromptu in-flight announcement as though he were a member of the flight crew, which is as close to having a real world  as he has ever been.

“Who’s ready for more slogans from me?” intoned Poilievre over the airplane PA to a smattering of applause. “Who’s ready for a bag of peanuts? Who’s ready to put their seat in an upright position?”

“He captivated me with his squinty-eyed gaze and nasal delivery,” said passenger Lisa Barnet, a  delegate whose job is dependent upon supporting Poilievre. “When he talked about common sense, I didn’t think about the Mike Harris disaster in . I thought about Euro-centric dog whistles.”

“I really liked the part where he talked about ,” said delegate Bill Davidson. “He knows a lot about getting extra houses from the , like the one he lives in on the taxpayer dime.”

After doing a real job for five-ish minutes Poilievre collapsed in exhaustion and demanded his staff bring him a Fresca.


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