Marine removed from White House after biting Biden’s dog

A U.S. Marine Corps security guard has been removed from duty at the White House following reports that he bit numerous members of the White House staff, including President Joe Biden’s dog, Commander.

“Obviously, that thing is not properly trained on how to behave around people,” White House Chief of Staff Jeff Zients said. “While everyone on our team has the utmost respect for Marines, we can’t just let them roam loose around the facilities if they’re going to be a danger to humans and other animals.”

This wasn’t the first time Cpl. Tyler Zagursky had been reprimanded for misbehaving while on duty. An investigation in 2022 found that the pungent smell emanating throughout the White House for months was due to Zagursky’s frequent urination on the Biden family’s couch.

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Approved ~ MJM