Sen. J.D. Vance attempted to sell his soul to the Devil “multiple times” but Satan declined to buy it, the Prince of Darkness disclosed on Wednesday.
“The fun part of my job is making a person turn to the dark side,” Satan said. “J.D. was already there.”
“I read Hillbilly Elegy,” he added. “I didn’t care for the writing. But more importantly, anyone who would engage in such a blatant cash-grab has already sold his soul, quite frankly.”
“Plus, the movie sucked,” Satan said. “I enjoyed downvoting it thousands of times on Rotten Tomatoes.”
Calling Vance’s soul “a hard pass,” the Evil One said, “I’m not like the worm who ate RFK Jr.’s brain—I have standards.”
