WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Biden campaign has forced its candidate to wear an ankle monitor to make sure…
Tag: Babylon Bee
Nick Cannon Quits ‘Masked Singer’: ‘I Need To See A Person’s Skin Color Before I Pass Judgment’
U.S.—Nick Cannon has stepped down from his position as host of The Masked Singer, saying he doesn’t…
Complete Moron Doesn’t Realize Social Justice Activists Changed The Definition Of Every Word Last Week
BILOXI, MS—Really smart experts everywhere are pulling their hair out with frustration due to thousands of…
Op-Ed: Anyone Who Claims Cancel Culture Is Real Is A Bigot Who Should Lose His Job
There is a blight on this country, and it is right-wingers slandering progressives by claiming that…
Op-Ed: To End Racism, We Need More Racism
Racism is bad. It’s not just bad, it’s the worst. It’s ridiculous that I even have…
In Show Of Solidarity, COVID-19 Vows Not To Infect Anyone Protesting Inequality
U.S.—In a powerful show of solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, COVID-19 has vowed not…
Report: Mansplaining Down But Woman Confusion Up
U.S.—In great news for everyone, studies have shown that a campaign against mansplaining has had great results,…
There’s No Such Thing As ‘Cancel Culture’ – Op-Ed By Adolf Hitler
Can you name anyone who has been canceled? You can’t. Because it’s made up. Sure you…
‘The Science On Climate Change Is Settled,’ Says Man Who Does Not Believe The Settled Science On Gender, Unborn Babies, Economics
PORTLAND, OR—Local man Trevor J. Gavyn pleaded with his conservative coworker to “believe the science on…
‘You Have Stolen My Dreams And My Childhood,’ Says Girl Currently Gracing Cover Of Time Magazine
WORLD—According to sources, a girl who has a pretty awesome childhood, gaining fame and accolades and…