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Tag: NewsThump
Vladimir Putin introduces new Russian army uniforms
As Russia expands military conscription in an attempt to regain the initiative in Ukraine, the army…
Russian flagship Moskva on patriotic new mission to investigate sea bed, insists Kremlin
The recently hydrated Russian warship “Moskva” has been redeployed to carry out scientific investigations at the…
Asteroid survives near miss with moron-infested planet
Asteroid 2022 GN1 has dramatically survived a near-miss with ‘Earth’, a planet well-known for carrying dangerously high…
Disney World on verge of becoming world’s first ‘Asshole-Free’ tourist attraction
As the Fox News audience of mouth-breathing simpletons continues to call for a boycott of Disney…
Conspiracy theorist claims Oscars slap was ‘staged by crisis actors’ after discovering both men involved have their own IMDB pages
Conspiracy theorist Simon Williams has declared the Oscars’ slapping incident a ‘false flag’ that clearly used…
Not having kids is ‘selfish’ [truncated]
Childless couples are selfish to the core of their miserable hearts [truncated] Addressing what he referred…
Families gathering to celebrate birth of man who’d be dismissed as a Liberal, lefty snowflake if he lived today
With the big day approaching, families across the world are preparing to spend Christmas Day celebrating…
Holy See issues papal bull decreeing all anti-vaxxers to be “Fuckwittus Collosus”
Following the invocation of the Pope’s authority by pro-pestilence campaigners in Colchester, the Vatican has clarified…
Catholic Church admits it needs to improve diversity after recruiting mainly paedophiles
The Pope has promised that the Catholic Church will set new diversity targets to ensure more…