Christian Movie Kinda Like Secular Movie But Without All The Cussing, Quality

U.S.—Reports from around the country indicated a popular Christian movie was really reminiscent of secular movies, except it omitted all its secular counterparts’ cussing, violence, sex, nudity, and quality.

“Wow, this is just like a real movie,” said one father as he and his family watched a scene where an atheist got hit by a car and died. “There are cameras, scenes, and even actors—well, at least, there are people on the screen reading lines.”

The film even seemed to have a script written down that the actors kinda followed. There was something resembling a plot and there was even an epic conclusion, though the resolution of the plot was basically just an advertisement telling you to go buy some Newsboys albums. There were lines where the actors said stuff back and forth, and the things they said kind of mimicked the things people said in secular films, though they said the word “Jesus” more but not just because they were mad.

“I get all the good stuff from secular movies, but my worldview is constantly reaffirmed and never challenged,” said a man in Iowa. “This way, I get to enjoy things the world enjoys—like movies—but I can skip out on the bad words and the quality craftsmanship that goes into a good film.”

Reports also indicate this is absolutely not the case with Christian satire sites, which are kinda like the secular ones but with no cussing and even more quality.

What is your opinion on Christian movie quality?