Kurds oppose pardoning Turkey at Thanksgiving

MOSUL, Iraq — A spokesman for Kurds in Syria and northern Iraq voiced some of the most fiercely anti-U.S. sentiments to date by condemning President Trump’s probable pre-Thanksgiving Turkey pardon.

In the strongest terms heard since shouting into the wind for consistent allied support, the criticism came from Hogir Karwan of the Kurdistan Dance Party (KDP), a splinter group that rarely engages in combat but is popular on the northern Iraq club scene.

MOSUL, Iraq — A spokesman for Kurds in Syria and northern Iraq voiced some of the most fiercely anti-U.S. sentiments to date by condemning President Trump’s probable pre-Thanksgiving Turkey pardon.

In the strongest terms heard since shouting into the wind for consistent allied support, the criticism came from Hogir Karwan of the Kurdistan Dance Party (KDP), a splinter group that rarely engages in combat but is popular on the northern Iraq club scene.

“I was totally freaking at this really lit club in Mosul,” Karwan said, “when somebody yelled over the music that Trump will pardon Turkey.”

Karwan was shocked to learn that Thanksgiving pardoning is an American tradition dating to President Abraham Lincoln.

“What donkey shit,” Karwan said. “The U.S. has been giving Turkey a free pass every November for over 100 years! This explains why America pulled the old electric slide and got out of the way when Turkey invaded our homeland.”

“Again the Kurds are betrayed,” said Karwan, “The U.S. is the father of stinky smells if this pardon goes through.”

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