Updated Valentine’s Day Cards Now Include Long Form Asking For Consent

U.S.—New, modern Valentine’s Day cards for the woke are including long forms asking for your partner’s consent to continue your advances.

The updated, modernized Valentine’s Day cards say things like, “I love you!” and “Be mine!” Then, when you open them up, a 300-page contract falls out, requiring your signature and initials to confirm that you consent to being pursued romantically.

Some even have consent-minded slogans like “Be Mine — if you want! No big deal if not. Let me know. Whatever.”

“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like making your S.O. sign hundreds of pages confirming she consents to your romantic gestures,” wrote one Huffington Post blogger. “She’ll absolutely swoon for you when you have her sign forms agreeing to let you hold her hand, open the door for you, tell her she looks pretty, and smile at her. Consent is sexy.”

“It’ll really set the mood for a very romantic Valentine’s Day.”