CAMBRIDGE, MA — Elizabeth Warren has called for a full federal ban on pregnancy centers, claiming they’re killing helpless pregnant women by luring them onto a big red “X” and then dropping a piano on their heads.
“I’m mad!” Sen Warren screamed at a group of seagulls. “Pregnant women are being duped by the millions! They are seeking real help and these pregnancy centers are tricking them into being crushed by grand pianos just like in Bugs Bunny! This cannot stand!”
“And some of these women may not know abortion is a viable alternative to raising a loving child,” she continued. “Instead of being educated on the virtues of abortion, they are dropping pianos and anvils on people’s heads! It’s horrifying!”
“Look at me yelling! Aaaaahhhhhh!”
Al