Russian Army officer touts ‘open window’ policy to new recruits

A Russian Army officer in the Donbas region of Ukraine is earning high praise from officials in Moscow after his introductory speech to new recruits touting his “open window” policy went viral on social media.

“Welcome to the Russian Army, it is so wonderful to have you here among the very best,” said Lt. Igor Abramovich to a room of drunk and/or elderly men looking around the barracks for service rifles, grenades, and at least somewhat serviceable Kalibr missiles they hope will still work in Ukraine. “I want you to know that I am here to help you, and I have a completely open window policy with you men. You can come and see me any time for absolutely anything you need.”

According to Russian regulations, anything you need for military draftees includes top-of-the-line military equipment such as a camouflage uniform, boots, and a “smart card” map of Ukrainian front-line positions needing a human wave assault. They are also given special versions of the AK-47 known as RUST, or Russian Special Troops edition rifle.

“Only the very best for the best that Russia has to offer,” Abramovich added with a smile. “Now get outside and get in formation, you little worms. I don’t have much time to train you before the Ukrainians take you through live-fire training in a few days.”