U.S.—New, modern Valentine’s Day cards for the woke are including long forms asking for your partner’s…
Author: Sir Fred
In Appreciation For Primary Win, Bernie Promises To Make New Hampshire The Site Of His Very First Re-Education Camp
NEW HAMPSHIRE—After an astounding victory against Democratic rivals in the New Hampshire primaries, Bernie Sanders expressed…
Biden Giving Up On Primary To Focus On Secondary
U.S.—After disastrous fourth- and fifth-place showings in Iowa and New Hampshire, Joe Biden is considering a complete…
Ilhan Omar Accused Of Appropriating Alabama Culture By Marrying Relative
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Ilhan Omar has been accused of marrying her brother, a serious allegation. But even more…
Trump Irritated As Some Jesus Guy Hogs All The Attention At Prayer Breakfast
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump arrived at the National Prayer Breakfast in high spirits Thursday, having been acquitted…
Democrats In Chaos After Being Forced To Do Math For First Time
IOWA—The Democratic primaries have broken down into chaos after the party encountered its archnemesis head-on for…
Study: People Tend To Tune Out By The Fifth Threat To Our Democracy Per Day
A new study has fascinating findings that could have big political implications. According to the study,…
The Most Decorated Enlisted Sailor in Navy History
In the history of the U.S. Navy only seven men have earned all of the “Big…
Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In his opening statement at Trump’s impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of…
Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Mitch McConnell was happy to receive the impeachment articles today so that the Senate could get…
Ocasio-Cortez Accuses Math Of Sexism
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Several aides sat Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez down Monday to show to her how her radical,…