After a gruelling six-mile trek through the blistering desert heat after being abandoned at the Coachella…
Tag: NewsThump
God admits he’s sending Hurricane Milton to Florida because Donald Trump lives there
God Himself has finally broken His millennia-long silence on meteorological phenomena after admitting he is deliberately…
Taliban praises US lawmakers for continuing to clamp down on women’s rights
As US lawmakers continue removing the right for women to terminate unwanted and unhealthy pregnancies, Taliban…
Donald Trump given brand new shiny pager to help with his election campaign
Donald Trump has been gifted a brand new shiny pager it has been revealed today, with…
Republicans take short break from blaming assassination attempt on Democrats who compared Trump to Hitler, to celebrate VP nominee who compared Trump to Hitler
The Republican party has taken a short break from blaming Democrats who compared Trump to Hitler…
Pope successfully keeps a straight face while calling for ‘end to superstition and magic’
The world’s most prominent believer in the supernatural has appealed to people to stop following outdated…
Republicans finally back gun control after school shootings repositioned as 720-week abortions
Senior Republicans have finally thrown their weight behind gun reform after the latest school shooting was…
Hunter Biden withdraws from Presidential race following felony conviction
Joe Biden’s son Hunter has officially withdrawn from the race to become President of the United…
Man who spent three years screaming “Lock Her Up!” suddenly against the criminalisation of politicians
Having high-profile politicians punished for their crimes is ‘un-American’ according to one Trump fan who spent…
Man apparently determined to out himself as an ignorant simpleton after posting a chemtrail conspiracy theory
A man has this morning decided to publicly out himself as a low-information simpleton by pointing…
Man furious at Disney for ‘indoctrinating children’ celebrates taking his 7-year-old for First Communion
A man who is furious at Disney for indoctrinating children through the use of ‘woke leftist…
TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles
Popular social media platform TikTok is set to avoid a looming U.S. government ban by unveiling…