Democrats In Chaos After Being Forced To Do Math For First Time

IOWA—The Democratic primaries have broken down into chaos after the party encountered its archnemesis head-on for…

Study: People Tend To Tune Out By The Fifth Threat To Our Democracy Per Day

A new study has fascinating findings that could have big political implications. According to the study,…

Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In his opening statement at Trump’s impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of…

Socialist Steps On Another Rake Insisting That 79 Previous Attempts Weren’t REAL Stepping On A Rake

LOS ANGELES, CA—Local socialist man Brandon Paul was doing some gardening in his front yard this…

Ocasio-Cortez Accuses Math Of Sexism

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Several aides sat Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez down Monday to show to her how her radical,…

World War III Rated Most Disappointing Sequel Since ‘Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull’

WORLD—Critics have panned the long-awaited sequel to World War 2 this week, calling it “the most…

As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts

ATLANTA, GA—According to a report, as part of the settlement with Nick Sandmann, CNN hosts will…

Castro’s Campaign Fails As Democrats Realize His First Name Isn’t Fidel

U.S.—Julian Castro was forced to pull out of the Democratic primaries after Democrats suddenly realized his…

Nation’s Christians Wish God Had Given Them Some Kind Of Unimpeachable, Incorruptible Leader To Follow

U.S.—The nation’s Christians are lamenting the fact that God never gave them a leader they could follow…

El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President

EL PASO, TX—An El Paso man reportedly came down from a “totally crazy” acid trip where…

Elizabeth Warren Opens Casino To Help Finance Campaign

U.S.—With campaign contributions down 30% in the last quarter, you might think it’s time for Elizabeth…

Wolf to eat sun… Eternal darkness and winter to descend upon earth

COPENHAGEN (Reuters) Scientists and Astrologer at the Royal Pagan University of Denmark announced that they have…