https://babylonbee.com/news/my-mom-said-you-guys-have-to-let-me-play-defiant-colin-kaepernick-tells-kids-playing-flag-football-at-park RIVERDALE, GA—Shortly after his workout video plan failed, free agent Colin Kaepernick took a walk…
Tag: The Babylon Bee
Bombshell Testimony Reveals Some People Do Not Like President Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Bombshell testimony on Capitol Hill today revealed a shocking truth: that some people do not…
Joel Osteen Releases Pop-Up Theology Book
https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-announces-pop-up-theology-book HOUSTON, TX—After much demand, Pastor Joel Osteen has released a systematic theology, but it’s just…
Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt…
Press Narrowly Escapes White House Lawn After Trump Releases The Hounds
https://babylonbee.com/news/press-narrowly-escapes-white-house-grounds-after-trump-releases-the-hounds WASHINGTON, D.C.—The media members gathered on the White House lawn were feeling pretty uneasy as Trump…
New Ultrasound Technology Can Detect Up To 50 Genders
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-prenatal-ultrasound-detects-up-to-50-genders U.S.—Advanced new prenatal ultrasound technology can detect up to 50 genders. The technology will be…
Chicken Wings Now Classified As Vegan Since Chickens Don’t Need Them Anyway
https://babylonbee.com/news/chicken-wings-now-classified-as-vegan-since-chickens-dont-need-them-anyway CORVALLIS, OR—Vegan leader and chef Antonio Martha has announced that chicken wings are now vegan.…
In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose
https://babylonbee.com/news/in-genius-move-trump-supports-impeachment-forcing-democrats-to-oppose-it WASHINGTON, D.C.—The impeachment hearings have been thrown into chaos after President Trump announced that he…
Joel Osteen Not Sure Who This ‘Jesus’ Fellow Is That Kanye Keeps Talking About
https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteens-congregation-wonder-who-this-jesus-guy-is-that-kanye-keeps-on-talking-about HOUSTON, TX—According to sources at Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen was confused as Kanye West mentioned…
Chick-Fil-A Trades Adoring Christian Fans For Outraged Mob That Won’t Be Appeased Until Their Every Demand Is Met
https://babylonbee.com/news/cfa-trades-christian-supporters-for-outraged-mob-that-will-stop-at-nothing-to-destroy-them U.S.—Chick-fil-A has said it will stop making donations to Christian groups that oppose the LGBTQ…
Trump Requests Impeachment Trial By Combat
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-requests-impeachment-trial-by-combat WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress’s impeachment inquiry got off to a slow start, with a bunch of people…
Disney+ Warns Subscribers Some Old Content May Feature White, Cisgendered, Heterosexual Males
https://babylonbee.com/news/disney-warns-subscribers-some-old-content-features-white-cisgendered-males BURBANK, CA—With the launch of Disney’s new streaming service, the entertainment giant found it necessary…