Touting His latest majestic creation as the ideal recipe for wintertime fun, the Almighty God, He…
Tag: The Onion
Trump Disappointed After Holocaust Denier Tells Him Holocaust Never Happened
Appearing crestfallen during a dinner with the white supremacist at his Mar-a-Lago estate, former President Donald…
Republican Voters Given Toll-Free Number To Call If They Witness Legitimate Vote
In an effort to tamp down on the “outrageous” practice, Texas GOP officials reportedly shared a…
Texas Launches Outreach Program To Provide Troubled Teens With Assault Rifles
In an effort to enact meaningful change at the community level, Gov. Greg Abbott announced Friday…
Herschel Walker Claims He’s Honorary Confederate Soldier
Pulling a kepi out from his jacket and flashing the cap for all to see as…
Student Sent To Principal’s Office For Refusing To Masturbate To Flag During Pledge
In a move that administrators at James Madison High School called “incredibly disrespectful,” 12th-grade student James…
Biblical Historians Reveal Jesus Christ Chose Stage Name To Sound Less Jewish
Unearthing text excluded from the canonical Bible during the First Council of Nicaea, biblical historians at…
Police Chief Yells At Herschel Walker For Blowing Cover In Undercover-Senate-Run Operation
Dressing down the former NFL running back for ruining a long-running investigation, a top law enforcement…
Sean Hannity Plays Voicemail From His Dad Calling Him A Piece Of Shit To Demonstrate Healthy Father–Son Relationship
Contrasting the message with the one received by Hunter Biden, Sean Hannity reportedly played a voicemail…
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything
Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man…
What To Know About The Oath Keepers, On Trial For Role In January 6 Riots
Five members of the Oath Keepers, including founder Stewart Rhodes, are being tried in federal court…
Republicans Explain Why They Voted Against The Electoral Reform Bill
After the House of Representatives passed a bill to strengthen the presidential certification process, The Onion asked Republicans…