New Arkansas Bill Would Require Teen Residents To Keep Genitals On Full Display At All Times

In a purported effort to protect the youths of the state, Arkansas legislators passed a controversial bill Friday that would require teen residents to keep their genitals on full display at all times. “We hope this legislation will help families in the great state of Arkansas by immediately allowing parents to know whether the teen they’re interacting with has a penis or a vagina,” said lawmaker Bill Mackwell, confirming that under the new law, all teenagers under the age of 18 who attempted to hide or cover their reproductive organs could face up to three years of jail time. “These days, we’re seeing a lot of gender confusion amongst teenagers, but now that they’ll be required to drop their pants and show off their genitals to any teacher, coach, or random passerby that demands it, we’re hopeful they’ll be imbued with the strong Christian values that this country was founded on.” In an effort to prevent further moral decay, Mackwell had volunteered to personally inspect every teen’s genitals.