TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles

Popular social media platform TikTok is set to avoid a looming U.S. government ban by unveiling its latest product line: TikTok-branded semi-automatic rifles.

The announcement comes on the heels of bipartisan efforts to ban the app over national security concerns. However, TikTok’s foray into the firearms industry has effectively shielded it under the protective wings of the nation’s most untouchable guardians: Second Amendment advocates.

“Who knew the key to our survival was not more cat videos but rather arming those very same cat lovers?” mused TikTok executive Chuck Williams at the launch event held at a shooting range in the Midwest.

“In America, you may not be able to secure your data privacy, but you surely can secure a firearm. So, we thought, why not both?”

The new line of rifles, dubbed the “TikTok Tacticals,” features firearms with integrated live-streaming capabilities, allowing users to share their marksmanship or lack thereof, in real time with their followers.

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In Congress, where the move has caused a stalemate, one senator remarked, “When we were simply banning an incredibly harmful app for the safety of our children, this was all very easy, but now we’re trying to ban a company that sells guns to protect those same children? We’ve got no chance.”

Meanwhile, TikTok users have flooded the app with reviews of their new TikTok Tactical gear, with the hashtag #ArmedAndInfluential trending globally.