Kavanaugh Denies New Sexual Misconduct Claim During Emotional, Pants-Less Press Conference

https://politics.theonion.com/kavanaugh-denies-new-sexual-misconduct-claim-during-emo-1838153452

Aircrew hoping congressional subpoena will move travel voucher along

https://www.duffelblog.com/2019/09/aircrew-hoping-congressional-subpoena-will-move-travel-voucher-along/ ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Members of the 249th Airlift Squadron are excited about an investigation into…

Analysis: Trudeau has best debate performance of his career

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/09/analysis-trudeau-has-best-debate-performance-of-his-career/ TORONTO – Last night’s Maclean’s/City TV leaders debate for the 2019 federal election was a…

Dog Identifies As Genderfluid To Avoid Getting Neutered

https://babylonbee.com/news/dog-identifies-as-genderfluid-to-avoid-getting-neutered PORTLAND, OR—LGBTQ+ activists are praising Spot, as Spot is the world’s first genderfluid dog. Spot…

Kool-Aid Introduces New Pre-Watered-Down Fruit Punch For Church Functions

https://babylonbee.com/news/kool-aid-introduces-new-pre-watered-down-fruit-punch-for-church-functions CHICAGO, IL—Kool-Aid has announced a new line of fruit punch flavors that are pre-watered-down for…

Black transgender woman, 23, found dead in burned car in Florida

A black transgender woman was found dead in her burning car in South Florida in what…

A florist wants the Supreme Court to allow her to discriminate because flowers are ‘speech’

A Washington florist who has been fighting for years for a religious exemption to discriminate against…

Apologetic Conversion Therapy Founder Offers To Electrocute Past Patients Back Into Being Gay

https://www.theonion.com/apologetic-conversion-therapy-founder-offers-to-electro-1837940455 SPARTANBURG, SC—Following an announcement earlier this week in which he acknowledged his own homosexuality, former…

Is this hate group asking for a violent end to Drag Queen Story Hour?

The Family Research Council (FRC) is praying for an end to Drag Queen Story Hour and…

Trump Holds Up Map Suggesting Hurricane May Hit Coast Of Middle-Earth

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-holds-up-map-suggesting-hurricane-may-hit-coast-of-middle-earth WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump has drawn some criticism after holding up what appeared to be a map…

University Of Kansas Labels ‘My Pleasure’ As Hate Speech

https://babylonbee.com/news/university-of-kansas-labels-my-pleasure-as-hate-speech LAWRENCE, KS—The University of Kansas has labeled the phrase “my pleasure” as hate speech after…

Rooster Kills Australian Woman

https://gizmodo.com/rooster-kills-australian-woman-1837898447 A 76-year-old woman died after being pecked by a rooster in South Australia, a recent…