WASHINGTON — Following calls for revenge after a U.S. strike which killed Iranian General Qassem Soleimani,…
Author: Primus Pilus (Løki)
Es gibt keine Gnade in diesem Dojo!
Iran Announces They Will Stop Pretending To Follow Nuclear Deal
TEHRAN—In response to the United States’ recent killing of top Iranian general Qasem Soleimani, Iran announced…
CNN Attacks Babylon Bee: ‘The Internet Is Only Big Enough For One Fake News Site’
U.S.—CNN has slammed the world’s best satire site, The Babylon Bee, after CNN executives realized that…
FLICC: 5 Techniques of Science Denial
Science denial, in a broad sense, is exactly what it sounds like. It is the denial…
Report: Everything Slightly Worse Than Yesterday
NEW YORK—Emphasizing that the phenomenon is barely perceptible on a daily basis yet significant when observed…
United Methodist Church To Split Over Whether Or Not To Be Christians
NASHVILLE, TN—Leaders from the United Methodist Church have announced a tentative plan to split the church…
Iran Declines To Sign Colin Kaepernick After Reviewing Workout Video
TEHRAN—Colin Kaepernick sent his workout video to Iran after learning they may have recently opened up…
Ram Has Surpassed Silverado In Sales, Is Laughing At It, Can’t Get Enough Of This
My teenage nephew once asked me if I preferred Chevy trucks or Ford trucks, and I…
Motorola Razr returns with all of your middle school selfies pre-downloaded
CHICAGO, IL — Motorola recently announced the re-release of the once-ubiquitous Motorola Razr which will still be a…
Trump crosses ‘start WWIII’ off his New Year’s Resolutions list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Right after ordering the assassination of Iran’s General Suleimani a satisfied Donald Trump sat back and…
Trump Reminds Everyone He Hasn’t Been Impeached All Decade
WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a rally Friday, President Donald Trump reminded the crowd that he hasn’t been impeached…
Joel Osteen Criticized After Slapping Woman Who Tried To Quote Bible Verse To Him
HOUSTON, TX—Joel Osteen is being criticized after he slapped a woman who tried to quote a Bible…