https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-employee-throws-down-staff-which-turns-into-snake-eating-popeyes-employees-serpents FRESNO, CA—In a meager attempt to establish his restaurant as the chicken-sandwich powerhouse, a Popeyes…
Tag: The Babylon Bee
Trump Loses Christians’ Support After Failing To Properly Execute Sidehug
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-loses-evangelical-support-after-botching-sidehug WASHINGTON, D.C.—Christians’ support for President Trump has remained steadfast, despite one rocky patch when Trump…
Christians Face Clear Choice Between Party That’s A Hypocritical Mockery Of Their Faith And One That’s Openly Hostile To It
https://babylonbee.com/news/christians-face-clear-choice-between-party-thats-a-hypocritical-mockery-of-their-faith-versus-one-thats-openly-hostile-to-it U.S.—Christians voting their conscience have quite a choice this Election Day with the two major…
Trump Awards Medal Of Bravery To Chewbacca For Heroic Deeds During Battle Of Yavin
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-gives-chewbacca-long-awaited-medal-for-heroic-acts-in-battle-of-yavin WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump has awarded galactic hero Chewbacca his long-awaited Medal of Bravery for his performance in…
Media Scrambles To Fact-Check Image Of Trump Riding Hero Dog Into Massive Space Battle
https://babylonbee.com/news/picture-of-trump-riding-hero-dog-into-space-battle-against-alien-fleet-prompts-flurry-of-fact-checks U.S.—Trump recently shared a meme that showed him riding the “Hero Dog” into a space…
Trump Claims He Personally Pushed Al-Baghdadi Off Nakatomi Plaza
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-claims-he-personally-pushed-al-baghdadi-off-nakatomi-plaza WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference about the death of Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, President Trump claimed…
Conservatives Successfully Conserve Massive Deficits
https://babylonbee.com/news/conservatives-successfully-conserve-massive-deficits WASHINGTON, D.C.—Conservatives in Congress proudly announced Monday they have achieved their goal of conserving massive…
AOC Gets Into Heated Debate With Siri At Congressional Hearings
https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-grills-siri-at-congressional-hearings WASHINGTON, D.C.—Things got heated at a Congressional hearing on tech and politics when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez…
Kanye Announces Follow-Up Album ‘Silly Songs With Kanye’
https://babylonbee.com/news/kanye-announces-follow-up-album-silly-songs-with-kanye v U.S.—After the release of Kanye West’s much-anticipated gospel record Jesus Is King today, fans were shocked…
To Ensure Maximum Suffering, Hell’s Film Library To Contain Only Christian Movies
https://babylonbee.com/news/to-ensure-maximum-suffering-hells-film-library-to-only-contain-christian-movies HELL—In a somewhat ironic move to ensure maximum suffering among the people there, Hell has…
Security Footage From Sunday Shows Republicans Storming Closed-Door Chick-Fil-A
https://babylonbee.com/news/security-footage-from-sunday-shows-republicans-storming-closed-door-chick-fil-a WASHINGTON, D.C.—Republican lawmakers caused a scene when they stormed a closed-door impeachment inquiry meeting. But…
Small Island Of Uncultured Savages Rejects America’s Gracious Attempt To Introduce Them To Good Food
https://babylonbee.com/news/small-island-of-uncultured-savages-rejects-americas-attempt-to-introduce-them-to-good-food SMALL UNCULTURED ISLAND IN THE ATLANTIC—A previously unexplored small island of uncultured savages in the…