CAMP LEMONNIER, Djibouti — Gen. Stephen Townsend visited the continent whose US forces he commands for…
Author: Løki
To Ensure Maximum Suffering, Hell’s Film Library To Contain Only Christian Movies
https://babylonbee.com/news/to-ensure-maximum-suffering-hells-film-library-to-only-contain-christian-movies HELL—In a somewhat ironic move to ensure maximum suffering among the people there, Hell has…
Security Footage From Sunday Shows Republicans Storming Closed-Door Chick-Fil-A
https://babylonbee.com/news/security-footage-from-sunday-shows-republicans-storming-closed-door-chick-fil-a WASHINGTON, D.C.—Republican lawmakers caused a scene when they stormed a closed-door impeachment inquiry meeting. But…
Small Island Of Uncultured Savages Rejects America’s Gracious Attempt To Introduce Them To Good Food
https://babylonbee.com/news/small-island-of-uncultured-savages-rejects-americas-attempt-to-introduce-them-to-good-food SMALL UNCULTURED ISLAND IN THE ATLANTIC—A previously unexplored small island of uncultured savages in the…
~OFF TOPIC~ Thread for Sunday, October 20th
Here is where Off Topic Breakers come to relax and wander about. Post away, stay off…
Satan Endorses Paula White’s New Book
https://babylonbee.com/news/satan-endorses-paula-whites-new-book HELL—After a long day of going to and fro upon the earth seeking whom he…
Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset
https://babylonbee.com/news/hillary-clinton-asked-to-leave-costco-after-repeatedly-accusing-sample-lady-of-being-a-russian-agent WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked…
U.K.’s first Chick-fil-A will close just months after opening
https://thetakeout.com/uk-reading-england-first-chickfila-closing-1839165343 That didn’t last long. The first Chick-fil-A in the U.K., located in a Reading, England…
Pope Announces Any Time Spent Watching ‘The View’ Counts As Time Served In Purgatory
https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-announces-any-time-spent-watching-the-view-counts-as-time-served-in-purgatory VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience,…
Update: Canadians lucky US Presidential endorsement of Canadian political leader didn’t involve drone strikes
OTTAWA – Canadians familiar with US regime change in foreign countries are breathing a sigh of…
Trump Names Energizer Bunny New Secretary Of Energy
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-names-energizer-bunny-new-secretary-of-energy WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Rick Perry announced his resignation as secretary of energy, President Trump announced his…
Amid ‘Kill the Gays’ bill uproar, Ugandan LGBTQ activist is killed
Ugandan LGBTQ activist Brian Wasswa died on Oct. 5, one day after the 28-year-old was attacked…