In a 5-4 decision the U.S. Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade yesterday, holding that women could not be…
Tag: The Beaverton
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were…
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case…
Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election
Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him…
With Jackson hearings underway, Republicans regret squandering their supply of evil
The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of…
Conservatives confident supporting a convoy of angry, far-right protestors descending on Capital won’t blow up in their faces this time
As the “freedom convoy” rolls closer to Ottawa, Conservative MPs are increasingly voicing their support for…
Republicans celebrate anniversary of insurrection by leaving AR-15s under their pillows in hopes for a visit from the big fat man
January 6th, 2022 marks one year since Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol building, rioting after Trump lost the 2020…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of f*cks to give
Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give.…
Anti-vax family thankful they’ll have more leftovers this year
This Thanksgiving anti-vaxx family, the Millers, announced that they’ll be giving thanks for all the extra…
Antivaxxer spends day protesting hospital where he’ll spend next month intubated
Local anti-vaccine protestor Brayden Crosby, 32, spent today demonstrating against COVID-19 vaccine mandates outside the hospital…
Time-travelling Bible author horrified to discover people took his fantasy novel literally
A disruption occurred at a local library last week, caused by a man who claimed to…
Trump definitely going to jail, claims reporter who’s new here
With numerous devastating charges laid against the Trump Organization by New York prosecutors, the 45th President of the…