Pope Francis issued a statement Thursday deeming the sexual assault allegations against Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet as ‘insufficient grounds’ to launch…
Tag: The Beaverton
Being held accountable by federal government clear proof that Trump is not a real billionaire
The FBI enforcing a search warrant on his Mar-A-Lago estate as a result of a DOJ investigation into…
BREAKING: Jesus seeks new brand management
After a tumultuous, decades-long relationship with Evangelical Christians, Jesus H. Christ finally announced He is seeking…
US Supreme Court rules Environmental Protection Agency’s powers do not extend to protecting environment
The US Supreme Court has struck down the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ability to limit greenhouse pollution from power plants,…
US Supreme Court rules women have no right to abortion because fetus could grow up to be gun owner
In a 5-4 decision the U.S. Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade yesterday, holding that women could not be…
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were…
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case…
Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election
Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him…
With Jackson hearings underway, Republicans regret squandering their supply of evil
The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of…
Conservatives confident supporting a convoy of angry, far-right protestors descending on Capital won’t blow up in their faces this time
As the “freedom convoy” rolls closer to Ottawa, Conservative MPs are increasingly voicing their support for…
Republicans celebrate anniversary of insurrection by leaving AR-15s under their pillows in hopes for a visit from the big fat man
January 6th, 2022 marks one year since Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol building, rioting after Trump lost the 2020…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of f*cks to give
Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give.…