Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal…
Tag: The Beaverton
Trump supporters upset President never shot man on Fifth Avenue like he promised he would
Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot…
Attempted coup in global superpower much goofier than expected
The current attempt by Donald Trump and his Republican allies to subvert the will of the people and…
Toby Keith, 3 Doors Down excited for invitation to play Biden inauguration
Musician Toby Keith and rock band 3 Doors Down have both reported how excited they are to be playing for…
Trump pivots to claiming he actually won 2008 election
After a frantic series of overnight tweets in which he baselessly claimed to have actually won…
Trump announces rallies, lawsuits in bid to make self too pitiful to arrest
As news outlets confirm their earlier projections of a Biden electoral college win, President Donald Trump has announced further intentions…
Biden wins election nine days after winning election
After final vote tallies from Arizona and Georgia, Joe Biden has won the U.S. presidential election only nine days after winning…
America’s neo-nazis ask for patience and space to grieve downfall of racist dictator
As the results of the 2020 election settle in, America’s neo-nazi community is asking for time…
Donald Trump announces creation of seven new states, all of whom voted for him
US President Donald Trump has officially signed an executive order establishing seven new American states which have all…
Eric Trump still in line at Apple Store to vote
Eyewitnesses report President Trump’s son is still in line at the Georgetown Apple Store, waiting to cast his…