Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a…
Tag: The Beaverton
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined…
Canada extends U.S. border closure to totally arbitrary date of January 21
The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date…
Mountain Dew celebrates true meaning of Christmas with Dewtivity Scene
Mountain Dew has unveiled a partnership with Safeway that places sponsored Dewtivity Scenes™ in grocery stores across…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal…
Trump supporters upset President never shot man on Fifth Avenue like he promised he would
Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot…
Attempted coup in global superpower much goofier than expected
The current attempt by Donald Trump and his Republican allies to subvert the will of the people and…
Toby Keith, 3 Doors Down excited for invitation to play Biden inauguration
Musician Toby Keith and rock band 3 Doors Down have both reported how excited they are to be playing for…
Trump pivots to claiming he actually won 2008 election
After a frantic series of overnight tweets in which he baselessly claimed to have actually won…
Trump announces rallies, lawsuits in bid to make self too pitiful to arrest
As news outlets confirm their earlier projections of a Biden electoral college win, President Donald Trump has announced further intentions…
Biden wins election nine days after winning election
After final vote tallies from Arizona and Georgia, Joe Biden has won the U.S. presidential election only nine days after winning…
America’s neo-nazis ask for patience and space to grieve downfall of racist dictator
As the results of the 2020 election settle in, America’s neo-nazi community is asking for time…