Anti-maskers celebrated today after the announcement that Daft Punk, pioneering electronic musicians known for monster hits…
Tag: The Beaverton
Local transphobe who never attends women’s sports suddenly concerned about women’s sports
After US President Biden issued an Executive Order banning gender identity discrimination in sports, local transphobic man…
Trump says impeachment lawyers quit because winning will be too easy and thus unsatisfying
Former US President Donald Trump has issued a statement regarding the departure of his lead impeachment lawyers, clarifying they only…
Nation shocked after Biden able to undo all four hours of work Trump did as President
Americans are flabbergasted after President Biden within only two weeks was able to undo all four hours of…
Having started the 2021 NHL season with a record of 6-2 the ever disappointing Toronto Maple Leafs believe they have finally found what works for them: no longer having to play the Boston Bruins.
“It’s still early but things are really coming together,” said Captain John Tavares. ‘We’re moving the…
Canada happy for friend who just got out of terrible relationship
Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a…
Twitter suspends Trump’s Twitter account after waking up from four-year coma
Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a…
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined…
Canada extends U.S. border closure to totally arbitrary date of January 21
The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date…
Mountain Dew celebrates true meaning of Christmas with Dewtivity Scene
Mountain Dew has unveiled a partnership with Safeway that places sponsored Dewtivity Scenes™ in grocery stores across…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal…
Trump supporters upset President never shot man on Fifth Avenue like he promised he would
Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot…