CHICAGO, IL — Motorola recently announced the re-release of the once-ubiquitous Motorola Razr which will still be a…
Tag: The Beaverton
Trump crosses ‘start WWIII’ off his New Year’s Resolutions list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Right after ordering the assassination of Iran’s General Suleimani a satisfied Donald Trump sat back and…
Orlando rebrands as ‘Orwatero’ in anticipation of climate change
ORWATERO – In an effort to be the first city to recognize the new reality that…
North Korea threatens to blah blah, Christ, every week with these guys
PYONGYANG, NK – This week, the government of North Korea warned that if U.S. didn’t stop ticking them…
Trudeau insists he was talking about another brash, incompetent US President also named Donald Trump
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has clarified that he, and other world leaders were talking about…
Police arrest dealer responsible for selling speed to world population of squirrels
VANCOUVER – After a years-long joint investigation by multiple international agencies, authorities have finally arrested the…
Update: Canadians lucky US Presidential endorsement of Canadian political leader didn’t involve drone strikes
OTTAWA – Canadians familiar with US regime change in foreign countries are breathing a sigh of…
Trendy sex store introduces ketogenic edible underwear
Trendy sex store introduces ketogenic edible underwear DIDSBURY, AB – A local sex shop is updating…
Nation relieved to know US fixed and everything going back to normal now
Nation relieved to know US fixed and everything going back to normal now AMERICA — Across…
Exhausted Americans petition Greenland to purchase US instead
WASHINGTON – Millions of fed-up Americans have petitioned the autonomous Danish territory of Greenland to purchase…
America’s wealthy perverts unsure which of them actually staged Epstein suicide
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/08/americas-wealthy-perverts-unsure-which-of-them-actually-staged-epstein-suicide/ NEW YORK — Following the death of jailed multimillionaire financier and accused sex trafficker Jeffrey…
Canadian lectures American on how only 17 people were shot in Toronto over the weekend
“https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/08/canadian-lectures-american-on-how-only-17-people-were-shot-in-toronto-over-the-weekend” TORONTO – In an effort to demonstrate Canada’s superior gun laws and protection of its…